Goals are a powerful thing.......

Hadn’t been to the gym in a week now. To make matters worst, I accepted an invitation to a pizza dinner at a friends place. How could I say no? It was pizza! Anyway, I went to bed last night with the commitment that I’d go to the gym in the morning.

I woke up and got dressed. Was about to step out and realised I was in charge of grocery shopping and lunch as mum wasn’t keeping well… Finished what I had to do. Finally at 3.30 I managed to head to the gym.

I got on the treadmill, set the time to 45 minutes and began my jog. At this point there were way too many thoughts running in my head. “What will I prepare for dinner?” “Should I continue living at home?” “But I want to go to Australia?”. My favourite, “what kind of guy is right for me?” My favourite because once this thought comes, it stays and confuses the **** out of me.

So here, I am on the treadmill trying to complete 45 minutes and I am interrupted with a thought that’s not ready to go…. Suddenly I look at the time I’ve completed and feel like someone’s sentenced me to jail. It’s only been 10 minutes! I thought I had at least finished 2O. My legs feel tired… my shoulders feel heavy…. the music isn’t fast and catchy enough, my back is hurting and I’m now wondering if 45 minutes was rather too ambitious.

I have done 45 minutes before, hell, I’ve even done 60 minutes. So now I have to choose. I can slow down and stop or I can finish what I've started. I remind myself of how awesome I felt when I’d set the 60-minute goal and completed it. My focus has automatically moved to my breathing technique, my posture, I’m loosening my hands and I’m telling myself “of course you can do this…. You’ve done it before… in fact you’ve done 60 before so this is nothing…. you’re so light this isn’t even an effort for you...… your feet are moving in sync with the beats of the music that’s playing….. etc etc..”

I look at the time and although I’ve only just finished another 5 minutes I’m telling myself “its only 30 more minutes to go…” and I’m happy with every minute I complete. After completing 25 minutes my body is already feeling like a machine. Completely in sync with the treadmill, just going for it.

Suddenly, the belt starts to slow down. I look to the screen thinking I accidentally touched the “stop” button and there are those priceless two words starting at me on the screen. “GOAL ATTAINED” followed by “BEGIN COOL DOWN”.

Right there, I am overcome by a sense of achievement. I am so charged; I get on the bike and finish 30 minutes on level 8. I cool down, finish stretching and get ready to leave.  As I walk down to the changing rooms, I am feeling energised, I am feeling happy, I am feeling powerful… like there’s nothing I can’t achieve if I really commit myself to it. I realise the last time I felt like that was a week ago, when I came to the gym.

The trick is to push yourself outside your comfort zone. The best part is you can do it everyday and feel that powerful every single day. Doesn't have to be going to the gym. 

Oh.. and of course… did you notice? Even the thoughts that “usually refuse to go” were no longer there….. The mind is clear and full of positive thoughts and energy.

The D Word

If you have been struggling with weight you already know what the “D” word is and dread it as much as I do…(rather did)…. For those who are not yet clued in to what I’m talking about, it’s not the company run by someone sitting in Dubai; it is in fact, Diets.

Now before you read ahead you must know that I haven’t completed a degree or diploma in the field of nutrition. Given my struggle with weight, I have been quite the lab rat where different diets are concerned. I’ve tried and tested quite a few and that qualifies me to share my “expert opinion”. So with the freedom of expression act to protect me from upsetting a few people, here I go……

Of course, I should start by listing the diets I’ve tried so far.
1.     Atkins diet
2.     General Motors diet
3.     Grapefruit diet
4.     Celebrity Slim
5.     Jenny Craig
6.     SlimEasy
7.     Lite n’Easy
8.     Weight Watchers
9.     Home developed diet advice from well wishers and;
10. Nutritionist at the gym

(I’m pretty sure there are more, but I can’t recall them at this stage)

Anyway, the point is, there is quite a variety in them. The common thing however was depriving your body of something or the other. Be it carbohydrates, proteins, fresh fruit and vegetables, meat, etc. The D word came to become synonymous with deprivation for me. The exception to this may have been the Weight Watchers program. However, I feel it didn’t work for me because it was too general or maybe my lack of determination, for which I take full responsibility.

The effect these diets had on my body was varied. Stretch marks, acne (which I never had, ever), dark circles, low haemoglobin, lack of energy and terrible mood swings are just a few off the top of my head.

Since I had tried everything, there was no stopping me from trying yet another way to lose weight. So when a family friend suggested a nutritionist, I willingly made an appointment and went to see her. When I weighed myself and sat down I was already prepared to hear what I had to stop eating. Then she opened her mouth and nothing prepared me for what I was going to hear. “Beta (child), if you want to lose weight, you’re going to have to eat, and I’m going to teach you how”

EAT? Did I hear her right? I was shocked. Can’t blame me after all these years of “not eating”.

All my life I’ve been hearing, don’t eat that, avoid this, avoid that…. And here, there’s a lady telling me the only way to lose the extra weight was by eating.

Before she started to write down my diet plan, she asked me what my normal day looked like. What foods I liked, didn’t like (which is not much), what foods I crave for etc. She then took all of that into consideration and prepared a plan for me. And No, she didn’t exclude anything I liked out of the plan.

She did however tell me that my sugar cravings would vanish if I followed the plan. They actually did.

As a result, I have not developed any new stretch marks, my acne problem is under control, my haemoglobin level has been restored and I’m a blood donor again. Dark circles only reappear after a series of late nights…  I feel great and the weight loss is just a bonus.

The D word is no longer synonymous with deprivation. I no longer feel guilty of eating that red velvet cupcake because I know how to balance it out besides; I rarely crave for the same.

So my dear readers, if you’re struggling with weight like me, pick a nutritionist who knows their stuff and is ready to educate you on what’s right for your body type. Don’t follow the generic plans that deprive your body of food. If your nutritionist asks you to avoid the food you love, run…. And find a new nutritionist.

If you like reading,  I’d suggest you read this book “Don’t lose your mind Lose your weight” by Rujuta Diwekar who has very articulately explained the functions of different food categories and their importance. 

Lastly, through your journey always remember, just like music, food also crosses across cultures and borders. It’s one thing that unites us all ……. Anything that good cannot be bad….. J Love your food. Enjoy every bite, guilt free.

Loving yourself....

Through my growing years, ever since I can remember, I’ve always been told to lose the extra kilos. Funnily though, the advice always came with “you won’t find anyone to marry you if you don’t lose weight”… or “guys don’t like girls who are fat”. It came from everyone. I met people and within the first five minutes they’d be giving me tips on losing weight. None of my other achievements were worthy of discussion. My weight was the only topic of interest. My parents and my little sister, as far as I can remember were the only people who never stressed so much about my weight. They let me be. When I got really obese they started telling me to lose weight and get in shape. But their concerns, unlike everyone else were totally different.

Since I had already received so many messages that I will never be good enough for a guy because I am a certain shape, I started getting angry when my parents started telling me to lose weight. I felt they didn’t love me anymore. They were only telling me to lose the excess so I wasn’t exposed to unnecessary health risks.

As a result, and totally without awareness my actions were directed at punishing myself by ignoring my health. I remember saying, “If anyone wants to love me they better love me for who I am the way I am.” I didn’t care to exercise, enjoyed drinking, smoking and eating all the yummy junk food available. Pizza with extra cheeses my favourite and also the fries, which by the way were always upsized. I had a desk job that never helped much. I only spent time with a handful of people and didn’t enjoy going out meeting new people. It was so bad that when a great guy came along and told me what I was waiting to hear, “I love you”, I pushed him away because I had started believing in what everyone had been saying all this while. I thought to myself, “He can’t love me, I’m fat!”, “He’s going to leave me anyway, why take a chance?”

One fine day, while talking to my best friend I had my “aha” moment. I realised that I had no right to expect people to love me because I had stopped loving myself. I wasn’t a priority in my own life. How can I remotely expect anyone else to love me so?

Since this awareness came about I suddenly noticed many people in my life… Some were told you’re too short or you’re too thin (my favourite) or too dark or too tall or too fair, etc. I realised how someone’s always going to pick on you and your appearance.  One thing common among these people was that they were not fazed by their shortcomings. All these people I met had accepted their differences and loved themselves the way they were.

Thank God for that moment, I finally accepted myself the way I was. Once I did that loving myself came very naturally. As a result I took to exercising and keeping myself fit. I’m not yet within the healthy weight range but I still feel great. I know it’s come with accepting myself. Now I have goals of running a marathon and actually believe it’s possible.

My life has changed ever since. I still tend to go back to the old self sometimes but now I can talk myself away from that place. I feel I am a brand new person and everyone I meet feels the same. Now guys tell me I am beautiful and I respond, “I know” because I believe I am :)

I’m finally filled with love and that’s what I share wherever I go. There’s no room for anything else.  So, my dear friend, are you loving yourself enough?