Wow…. It’s been ages since I was here and so glad to be back. The last time I was here I was toying with the idea of facing my fears. Must’ve been an inspired moment because I forgot all about it until last weekend… (aren’t we all guilty of that at some point….!)
So anyway, last weekend, I went to visit my cousin. On our way to her place she reminds me of the new addition to her family, Selten. A Chihuahua. I am relieved, temporarily, knowing that I’m not really have to going to cross paths with him because I have the option of living in a separate flat.
Now, if you know me you already you know how terrified (even that may sound as an understatement) I am of dogs, or any pet for that matter, hence the preference for gold fish.
So anyway, as soon as the elevator door opens, Selten rushes out of the house to greet my cousin and is in the elevator. At this point I’m screaming for space and asking my cousin to lift him and take him away. I am out of breath. Almost like I’ve eaten something I’m allergic to and am dying…
I walk into the house get on the bed with my legs up. I know that pet cannot climb the bed but I still can’t relax. I’m still worried that he may just jump. Now, the pet is crying and asking to be lifted and put on the bed. I am dead set against it. My cousin lifts the pet and gets him on the bed and I run to the door, stand there and observe what is happening. He smells the place that I was sitting in and quietly sits down on the bed.
While my cousin is trying to convince me to come and sit beside them I am suddenly reminded of the fact that I have decided to face my fears. I tell myself that I must make full use of this opportunity otherwise I’m just a hypocrite who writes one thing and does another.
So there I am, with all the courage I can find within me I go and sit next to Selten. Initially, hold a cushion between us to avoid direct contact. Then I slowly start to touch him. He turns around to smell me and I retreat. I try again. He smells me this time letting his nose and tongue touch my hand. It feels ticklish, that’s all. Then I start patting him and before I even realise, I’m holding him in my hands getting photographed. I’m ecstatic. I spend two days with him, lifting him, playing with him, feeding him and letting him even rest on my lap watching television with him.
Just when I’m watching TV while he sleeps in my lap, I wonder what all the fuss was about for all these years. I couldn’t find any answers except that somewhere I started believing I was afraid of dogs and kept feeding that belief till it became my reality. Now, I’ve had this belief for so long so I realise it’s not easy to change overnight. So when I went to visit a friend who has a German shepherd, I was sceptical. However, I knew the drill this time around. All I had to do was let him know that I’m not afraid of him…!
Now, you’re smart enough to gather what the moral of this story is so I’ll stop here. Till we meet again, I’m just going to enjoy this feeling that is parallel to none that I know.
