Day 1

Yes, I have shared my predicaments over waking up early in the morning especially when I've been sleep deprived. I guess the fact that this topic makes an appearance again just goes to show how difficult and equally important that first step is, everyday.

So having decided to pull myself together and get back on track I figured the first thing to do was go back to sleeping early and having early starts. Thats way I can fit in a morning walk and space out my meals to fit in breakfast. (I'm usually sleeping through breakfast time and then struggle to find the time to include all meals)

Anyway, with that in mind I put my phone on silent, switched off the telly and lights and tucked myself to bed by 11.00 pm last night. I was happy that I'd get the complete recommended dose of 8 hour sleep. I didn't realise then that my body had other plans.

At around 1.00 am I realised I was still fully awake.  I had been up trying to prepare a list of things I'd like to do on my upcoming holidays. (mentally, of course)  My goals and how I was going to get there and other such thoughts kept me occupied. I realised I had to sleep so I tried counting sheep, focussing on my breathing, pretending I'll be shot if I moved and even got up to have a warm cup of milk. The tryptophan in milk helps induce sleep. Our great grandparents knew this ages ago...! (Probably didn't know the name of the amino acid, is my guess)

Did all of that and the last time I remember looking at the time was 3.00 am. Next thing I recall is hearing the alarm go and hitting the snooze button. Before I knew it I had "snoozed" for almost an hour. That's when I thought I may as well switch off the alarm and sleep properly. I had missed my morning walk time anyway.

Now, choosing sleep over morning walk especially when you are sleep deprived is very easy. I am not in the military or any such place that demands a high level of discipline. I am my own monitor. I can easily convince myself that I'll go for a walk in the evening or make up for it with extra time at the gym. That will probably allow me to sleep guilt free. With similar thoughts playing on my mind I decided to switch off my alarm and sleep.

Must've slept all of 2 minutes when I started hearing everyone get ready for breakfast. I found myself talking to myself. "If I sleep in now I'll wake up late. Again tonight I'll be chasing sleep. Tomorrow again I will be sleep deprived. I will have another day of disrupted eating patterns. If I've decided to change that, I have to change that from today, from now!" With that final thought I got out of bed and washed my face.

At the breakfast table I was greeted by surprised faces all around. No one was expecting me to wake up on my own. I felt great about myself. I was even more awake now. After breakfast I had enough time to finish my daily chores, reading and even had time to learn how to make a cold cake-ish dessert with my mum. Whether it can be called a cake is totally questionable.... ;)

While I reflect over todays events I realise how we are given the choice of which attitude we are going to adopt daily. Our choice can have a cascading effect throughout the day. Like mine did today.
Ok, so I missed the walk but I ate right, drank plenty of water and even managed to fit in exercise.

Now I'm looking forward to the sweet sleep I am going to enjoy tonight.

Till we meet tomorrow, choose wisely... :)

Procrastination's a _ _ _ _ _

In my bid to maintain a 'G' rating of the content on my blog I'm trying to keep away from using swear words. I couldn't find a better title for this post so I just decided to let you come up with a word that could fill the blanks... ;)

Moving on....

Have you ever thought of doing something and caught yourself saying, "it can wait"?
You go back to it and think, "Maybe tomorrow"?
Multiple such tomorrows later you are now telling yourself, "I've delayed it so much now that it doesn't make any difference when I do it."

Before you know it a considerable amount of time has lapsed and you've either totally scrapped that task from your 'to do list' or its still making an appearance at the bottom of your priorities. In my opinion, if it's still making an appearance in your thoughts it means it's bloody important and about time you give it the attention it demands.

I'm sure with me back in this space you've already figured what I'm talking about. For those not clued in yet, my last post was in March! March! Can you believe it?! and this is despite the very public commitment to keep posting about my progress. Seriously, March...!!!! And it's almost June now!!!

Not a single day has gone by when I've not thought about posting about my progress or lack of. Not a single day has gone by when I've not felt guilty about not honouring my own commitments. As a natural human, I've cooked up many excuses to explain this lapse.

Now, if there's one thing I've learnt about setting goals and going after them is that you do not allow room for excuses. You recognise excuses and nip them in the bud. Excuses are a way of convincing yourself that the goal is not worth the effort and giving up on them. So in my effort to be at a zero tolerance level for excuses, I'm going to trash all the excuses I've cooked up and not offer a single one for the negligence on my part.

Anyway,  in my previous post I promised a progress update and here 'tis;

Weight loss since March:      Zero
Inch loss since March:          8.5 inches overall

Not totally ecstatic about the results but still I've moved forward.
Hoping things will get better from here on.

So, is there something you've been putting off for later? What excuses are you making to avoid it?

Before signing out, I'd like to share a quote I came across earlier today.

"Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly"


Till we meet again, adios. xo

Redonkulous people!

As I dragged my feet into VLCC this morning for a massage I was hoping I didn't have to bump into any of their irritating staff who always jump at the opportunity to sell me their weight loss programs. I don't know if its a global thing, but its definitely an Indian thing. Anywhere you go, people look at you and decide what you need and offer you unsolicited advice on the same.

When I walked through the doors I was relieved to see a guy at the reception. His duty is to deal with male clients only so he wasn't going to waste my time. He checked the appointment diary and led me towards the waiting area which also happened to be a place where the dietitian's consult their clients.

I find it very strange that there is no privacy when there's a consultation going on but at the same time it offered me some amusement and food for my blog. So here I am sharing what I witnessed this morning.

While I was waiting, there was a girl just getting on the scales while her dietitian looked on.

"What happened?", asked the dietitian. Lets call her D for now.

"I don't know" replied this girl. For narration sake lets call her A.

"Well, you've put on 1 kilo since the last time, which was yesterday", said D.

"I have documented everything I did in my diary. Its there for you to see. I don't know how I put on the weight" replied A.

At that point, D got out a checklist and started to tick it off.

"Are you suffering from constipation?" - "No"

"Are you about to get your period?" - "No"

"Are you eating more fruit?" - "Yes"

"What fruit did you eat yesterday?" - "Watermelon"

"What did you eat for dinner last night?" - "Bhel and salad. I've written it in my diary"

"Did you add the sweet chutney to your bhel?" - "No"

"Did you add potatoes to it?" - "No"

"Did you add sev?" - "Yes"

As soon as A said those words, D looked up and gave her one of those looks. That look which says "And you wonder why you can't lose any weight? " or the one that says "No wonder you didn't lose any weight!"

D scribbled something on A's progress report and said the most redonkulous thing I've heard. "It's because of the sev that you have put on that 1 kilo."

I say redonkulous because she's a dietitian for crying out loud. Ridiculous just doesn't do justice to the kind of crap she is putting her clients through. Eating right and eating well is what she's majored in. Is it just me who gets frustrated when educated people talk like idiots..!!!  Even an idiot would know that the total amount of sev in that one cup of bhel would've weight less than 100gms let alone 1 kilo. My guess would be that since this girl is trying to lose weight she would've been very careful about how much she added anyway. Besides, D should probably be encouraging this girl's efforts by saying something like "your body weight usually fluctuates by a kilo here and there. Especially for women because of the hormonal changes happening all the time etc. Don't worry about it. It will drop eventually. Just continue eating right and exercising regularly." 

She should be educating her rather than sending her on a guilt trip...!

When A heard all that, her face fell to the ground. She was about to start crying. At which point D suggested she use the stepper and exercise under her supervision for a while. As if doing a few step ups is going to make her lose the 1 kilo almost instantly...!

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I tried to control myself but still ended up with a big ass grin on my face. I realised that the D will forever continue that same way until someone questions her methods. Maybe I should question it rather than wait for someone else to.  Just then I heard a voice over my shoulder. "Miss Patel, please come this way. Your room is ready."

"Maybe some other day, I said to myself" and prepared myself for some relaxation.

First day back.

Do you know what it feels like when you re-enter a gym after taking a long break? Especially when the breaks have been for birthday parties, attending weddings, traveling and did I mention anniversary parties? Yes, entering the gym and getting on those scales can feel like watching a scary movie. That's exactly how I felt when I went to the gym yesterday. Even though 3 months is the shortest break I've had being away from the gym. In fact 3 months is the longest I would've been at the gym in the past.... ;)

Getting back to the point. My first day back at the gym. I walk to the scales, put my bags on the side, remove my key chain, take off my havaianas and then get on the scale. My eyes are closed tightly and I slowly just lift a little of my right eye lid to have a peek at the weight. Oooh.... my right fully opens just to make sure there hasn't been a mistake and within a split second both my eyes are wide open. I can't believe it. I get off the scale. Let it go back to Zero. I get back on. I find myself talking to myself. "Try not to jump, try not to jump, try not to jump."

I did not jump. Wait, does updating my facebook status to the effect count as jumping with excitement? Oh well, its hard not to have. I weighed lighter than I did when I was last there. 

Five months ago, my weight had plateaued. Anything and everything I did was of no use. The scales just wouldn't move. So after a couple of months I decided to take a break from the gym. 

I would be lying if I said I was reckless and wasn't mindful about putting on the weight. But I wasn't stressing about it. 

What I realised yesterday is that as the year came to an end I was so stressed about not having made my goal of losing 35 kilos that I had started to skip meals or experimenting with different diets which mostly involved cutting out important food groups like carbs or fat and it did nothing but backfire. My weight would move for one day and go right back the next. It wasn't working and in the end I just ended up frustrated and more stressed.

Sometimes, you just have to do the right thing and the results will follow, eventually.

Ambition 2012

Its been a little over a month since my new years resolution and just did a progress check. I lost 2 kilos. Not bad but definitely could've done much better.

Time to get a little serious me thinks. So I've decided I'm going to treat this like a little project and to honour the two experts who once jokingly suggested a title for my plans on making 2012 - The year of Tulsi, I'm going to call it "Ambition 2012". Sorry what? Stolen idea? It's called being inspired.... ;)

Just like any other project you undertake you need to have a clear image of what you want the end result to look like. Well for me, that's going to have to be to drop another 20 kilos so I'm a size 10-12 and the proud owner of a toned body with curves that talk volumes.. :) Hope I've been specific enough. I once learnt that when you set goals, they must be truly aspirational. Also, you never set them worrying about how you're going to achieve them. You just set the goal. And so, this is mine.

Since we're not going to worry about the 'How' lets look at what I'd need to drop the kilos and get a toned body?

A good eating plan and an effective exercise regime. Love and support from my near and dear ones. A positive and inspiring environment and good rest. Well, that's what I can come up with for now. I guess this bit may keep evolving.

Anyway, a good eating plan, I have. If you like I can share my daily activity journal but I'm worried my stalkers will be able to pick a good time to abduct or kill me ... :P

Exercise - While I'm still trying to decide on my favourite form of exercise, I've just renewed my gym membership and will be starting today. (Getting too hot for outdoor exercise)

Love and support - I have my parents around me who never let me give up on my dreams and aspirations. They catch me when I fall but are also very blunt at telling me when I am wrong. That's what you need. Not just someone who tells you how awesome you are but is also willing to show you the mirror.

A positive and inspiring environment - Have you ever experienced this? Your mind is focussing on one thing and turns out that you see and hear about it everywhere you look. Same way, I'm sure this will just happen automatically. If you want I may share a story that inspired me every now and then.

And it is important to have a realistic timeline - to measure progress otherwise its all just talk.
Initially, I'm aiming at 3 - 4 kilos loss by the end of this month. That's like 4 weeks time. Plenty, I think.

Now its time to stop talking and get started. Are you with me?

Best & Worst Case Scenario..... You Pick.

Have you ever found yourself really excited about the possibility of something new that it scares you? 

What do you do? Focus on the good feeling you'll get when that possibility becomes real or on what could possibly go wrong. i.e. The best case scenario and the worst case scenario.

Being an optimist focussing on the best case scenario comes naturally. Also because there's only just one thing to focus on. Whereas the worst case scenario - well, there could be so many variations to it. It divides your attention. Your focus is spread and in the end you're just trying to achieve the best case scenario. So why waste your time? Just focus on what you really want in the end.

Ok, stop rolling your eyes wondering what I'm on about. I'll explain with a real life example.

You remember that time when I decided to sign up for the 5k run and also committed myself to raising $1000 for charity? Its hard to not remember, everyone in my life knew about it. And if you didn't know me at that time, then well, just take my word for it. It happened some time in 2010.

Anyway, it was a time when I was at my unhealthiest best. But I had bought into the dream of doing something outside my comfort zone and wanted to do it. My best case scenario would've been finishing the 5k and raising my set target.

My worst case would've been not doing anything about either of them or doing just half of it or just quarter or breaking a leg or being eaten by a raccoon.. (you get the point, I hope)

On my first day itself, I was given a BIG reality check. I was asked to run and I couldn't even run for a minute. Not even 100 meters. Right then and there, I had a choice. I chose to focus on what I really wanted. The happy feeling, wait, that doesn't do justice. That 'awesome adrenalin rush sort've feeling knowing you can do whatever it is you decide to do' (hope that does justice) I'd experience when I had achieved what I set my heart and mind on.

Since that moment on, I didn't for even a single day entertain the possible 'worst case scenarios' and the result was there for all to see. I finished the full 5k and also managed to raise and exceed my set target for charity. 

The bonus well there were two.

1.  learnt I had it in me to be a sales person.... Of course some people were just made guilty to donate...;) (Surely, they still love me for having forced them to do a good deed....)

2. I had injured myself which I realised a week after. That led me to the cutest Physio I'd seen. 

So what was my point? Yes, it's this. In the end you'll only end up getting what you truly focus all your energies on. Don't you then owe it to yourself to focus only on that which you really want?

Reflecting

Oh, what a feeling! I woke up in time, went for a walk and also broke a sweat...! That's a first in the last couple of months since I've stopped going to the gym... woohooo...!!!! (More on the gym front later)

Anyway, whilst I was feeling all powerful and positive I thought it might be a good time to reflect on why I'd gone off my program in the last few days. I narrowed it down to the fact that whenever I was asked what I wanted to eat or where, I just responded with "whatever everyone else feels like."

Now, its not so bad eating out at a place that everyone else decides. I could've still chosen my meals wisely. I could've still woken up early to exercise before the day began. I didn't do any of that. Guilty? Not as much as I'm wiser from that experience. I realised the following;

a) When I'm out in a group I don't want to be seen as a fussy person.

b) I sometimes find it difficult making the wiser choices when eating out.

It's a good start knowing what you did wrong because only then you can actually do something to fix it. 

I questioned myself further. Am I really guilty of inconveniencing others? 

The more I thought about it (and trust me, early mornings are best for reflections) I remembered how I had once refused to accept a half hour lunch break so I could go running while everyone else in my training program opted for the half hour break so they could finish early and go home. We had our own priorities and I completely refused to compromise on mine. It's because I wanted it so bad, I was almost blinded by it.

I guess that makes it very clear for me. I'm not afraid of inconveniencing anyone or being seen as a fussy person when it comes to going after the things that are really important for me. I just need to focus on making better choices for myself.

It is me after all that lives with the consequences of the choices I make.... :)